Lightbulb

I'm getting bad at this blogging thing. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I don't. Right now, I love it so I figured I might as well post something. I usually don't love it because it takes so long. So, today it might be one of those 'trying to get my deep thoughts' out there kind of posts. If that's not your thing, that's okay. But, I do a lot of internal thinking, and sometimes like/feel the need to share it.

Today, I got on Pinterest on my ipod (am I so behind the times or what? No smart phone for this girl) and scrolled down. One of my friends repinned a video of Elder Holland, and the caption of the pin was something like, "A great video to help moms reconnect on the hardest days". Seeing as I have had very little patience lately (hubby has been so busy and out of town a LOT lately, it's rough on me), I thought I should probably watch this one. First of all, if you watch/listen/read general conference, you know Elder Holland is a powerful speaker. He just hits ya right in the heart every time.

This time was no different. It hit home hard for me. It reminded me that, sure, maybe so and so has so much time to do this and that, and has the money to do this and that to her house and herself, and I can't do any of that. BUT I am doing God's work. I have been trusted to raise his children, to love them, to protect them, and to lead them on the right path. There isn't a more noble career, there isn't anything out there that I should/could envy, because I am in an "eternal partnership with [God]", because I was "given such a responsibility that is everlasting evidence of the trust [my] Father in Heaven has in [me]".

Why do I care so much that I'm not a size 2, and that I can't cook a gourmet meal every night (or even once a week for that matter)? Why do I care that my clothes aren't the most trendy, or my hair has some majorly ugly regrowth? Why do I care that I don't have time/money to do projects and decorate my living space beautifully? Why? I don't know! All I need, and the only thing that really matters is my children. My husband. Our family. I need to learn to let a lot of things go, and just focus on them as much as I can. I will never have the most beautifully decorated house. I will never be the most fit girl, who can run whatever race she decides. I will never sew beautiful quilts for each of my kids, and husband, and some sweet gift for every girl I know that gets pregnant. I just won't! And the main reason for that is because I know my most noble duty is to be a mother, and that is my focus. That is what I believe the Lord has planted in me to do. That is where I will shine (hopefully) when I see Him again someday.

Sometimes, to be honest, I get embarrassed that my kids are so close in age. I feel like people are thinking, "An accident? Honey, don't you know what causes pregnancy???" After watching that talk by Elder Holland, that was completely erased. Who the heck cares what other people think about my circumstances, rather, my blessings. My Heavenly Father is the only one I should fear. Fearing what other people, who by the way, are just as imperfect as I, is such a waste of time and emotion. Instead, I should be fearing what my Heavenly Father thinks of me, and doing what I can to please Him. I know that is the only way I will be truly happy, and at peace.

I wrote down a few quotes from the talk so I could place them somewhere where I will see them for a reminder.

In speaking to young mothers,
"Do the best you can through these years. But whatever else you do, cherish that roll that is so uniquely yours."

He shared a letter from a young mother, and I like what she had to say,
"I am doing God's work. I know that my motherhood is an eternal partnership with him."

And again speaking to mothers he said,
"The very fact that you've been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you."

"Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily."

"Daughter, be of good cheer. Thy faith hath made thee whole, and it will make your children whole as well."

HERE is the link to the talk. HIGHLY recommend it!