Frustration.

Spencer and I have been trying to get pregnant since February. We didn't want the word to get out, because we wanted it to be a fun big surprise to tell everyone once we got pregnant. Nothing happened for the first three months. Then on the fourth month I tested positive. I took 2 tests one night, and another test the next morning. Digital tests. All said I was pregnant. At 4 1/2 weeks, I miscarried. I realize that is REALLY early in a pregnancy, but it still was heartbreaking. Then nothing happened the fifth month, but my cycle was all screwed up. We still hadn't told family we were trying. Sixth month came... Tested positive at 5 weeks. Tested positive 3 days after that. Spencer and I were SURE that this one was THE one. We were so excited, coming up with ideas on how we could announce this to our families... Well, sure enough, at 6 1/2 weeks I miscarried. It was painful both physically and emotionally. One of the hardest things I've been through. Finally, the 7 month... I never tested to see if I was pregnant, but my cycle was 41 days long... I don't know if it was an actual miscarriage or not. Anyway, can you understand my frustration? Ugh. It is hard to see others having babies, getting pregnant. I know there are a lot worse situations than mine out there. I get it. I know it could be a lot worse, and I know I should be grateful that I'm not in that boat... Yet. I'm sorry. I feel a lot of frustration though. I am trying to look at it from a different perspective, but it's hard. There isn't anything I want more right now than to start my family...